The Great Sigismondo Malatesta

As I mentioned before Sigismondo Malatesta is one of my favorite historical characters.

He was a condottiero, essentially a mercenary leader in fifteenth century Italy. He was known for his victories, betrayals, and his love hate relationship with the church.

While he doesn't have anything on Henry the VIII, he does have quite a record with his wives. His first wife was both his niece and or his first cousin, and related to him on his mother's side. She mysteriously died very shortly after their marriage, and Sigi was soon implicated in her death, with many rumors circulating that she was poisoned. Despite these rumors he convinced Francesco Sforza's illegitimate daughter to marry him, and she too died under "strange" circumstances. Despite her being illegitimate, Sforza was not pleased, and a blood feud ensued.

His mistressses faired better while he was alive at least. He finally married her, and he planned to have both of their tombs placed on the facade of Sigi's Tempio Malatestiano. They would have been in the two niches on each side of the doors.

Their church was also filled with lots of fun pagan imagery. Such as this fun image of Saturn, doing? Probably killing sigi because he did so many horrible wrong things, besides killing his wives...

Lovely? And Strange. This is 1450. Saturn looks like a Grecian woman harvesting wheat? Leon Batista Alberti designed the church, and he had a deep interest in classical art, but the affect is lost or at least misconstrued here. It is, very strange indeed. The temple is also filled with another fantastical Renaissance artist, Piero Della Francesca, who all art historians love, though for what reason I am unable to determine (Probably the same reason they like post impressionism). These frescos include scenes of St. Sigi, yes Sigi was named after a saint, though he too was a saint also (more later), doing the mundane things that he did in his life that make sainthood look like a breeze.

While some people can say that the very task of undertaking rebuilding a church makes Sigi a very religious person. But, Sigi was friends with the pope at the time, and got LOTS of indulgences to do it. Indulgences are pretty much Christianities get out of jail free card when you get to that big line to get into heaven.

But, the next pope was not such a big fan. Not only did this pope Pius II declared him an enemy of the church because of treachery towards Siena. This, probably had more to do with the pope's allegiances to Sigi's enemies, than Sigi's evil doing. Nevertheless, Sigi was promptly accused of all kinds of lewd acts, including incest (which he was guilty of marrying his cousin, duh) and sodomizing his children.

Sigi was not happy about this, and publicly sodomized the pope's emissary in response.

The Pope then doomed Sigi to Hell and canonized him there, as a sort of double punishment. As if the hierarchy of Hell is Devil, bad angles, St. Sigi, and everyone else.

Sigi tried to fight them, but they were all aligned together, and eventually he gave up, dying in his home town of Rimini, Yes Rimini. The place of pagan temples and sodomy.

Sigismondo is one of the craziest characters I've come across, and one of my favorites. He teaches us the wonderful lesson to not screw over your friends. And also, the church might give you indulgences to get you through the line quicker, but it can also make that line go straight to Hell.